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Every Disneyland Attraction, Ranked By Three Disney Superfans
While pretty much everybody loves Disneyland to one degree or another, for some of us, love borders on obsession. Three of us in particular at CinemaBlend have been to Disneyland so many times that we've lost track. Jessica and Mack are both former Southern California residents who used to frequent the park regularly and still make a yearly pilgrimage back. While I live a few hundred miles away from the Happiest Place on Earth, I still make a point to get down there as often as possible, once a year is a minimum.
The three of us recently decided to compare notes on our favorite and not so favorite attractions at Disneyland. We've ranked every ride or show available at the park on a ten-point scale. Rides are ranked by the average score. In the case of a tie, a ride that receives a higher score from any one of us takes the higher spot, though some ties still remain when a ride gets three identical scores. Here's the definitive list, according to three Disneyland Superfans.
34. Finding Nemo Submarine VoyageAverage Score: 1.33The Submarine Voyage has been around for a very long time, and while it has seen multiple themes over the years, the most recent iteration sees guests taken through a Finding Nemo themed experience. The ride itself isn't all that bad, but the mechanics of it mean that loading and unloading the submarines tends to take forever. This means the ride frequently has a long line, which would be ok if the experience was worth it, but it's just not. Also, the boats are crowded and tend to get hot, which is awful in a Southern California summer.
33. AutopiaAverage Score: 1.66The greatest irony in all of Disneyland might be that a place called Tomorrowland houses an attraction where cars still run on gasoline. It feels like this attraction needs to be taken over by Tesla and refitted with electric vehicles. That would at least make the air easier to breathe, which would go a long way to making this ride more enjoyable. Also, if you've had to drive to Southern California to get to Disneyland, you're not likely to want to get behind the wheel of a car for a while.
32. Mad Tea PartyAverage Score: 2.33Clearly, the CinemaBlend team isn't a fan of spinning around in circles. While the Mad Tea Party is a rite of passage for any Disneyland newbie, just to see if they puke, once you've proven your cast iron stomach, you can probably let this one go forever. If you somehow really love spinning around you might feel differently, but nobody here is going to join you on this ride. We'll wait for you at the exit.
31. Casey Jr. Circus TrainAverage Score: 3There nothing inherently wrong with The Casey Jr. Circus Train, it's just that there's not much to it. It primarily takes you around the same area as the Storybook Canal Boats (more on those later) but much faster, meaning you have less time to enjoy the scenery. It's also only about a four-minute trip, so it's over before you know it. While riding in the lion cage is usually fun for kids, their parents are going to probably hurt themselves trying to join them.
30. Davy Crockett's Explorer CanoesAverage Score: 3Here we go, some good old-fashioned disagreement. While the Explorer Canoes aren't really a "must ride" for me, I actually really enjoyed them the last time I rode them, slightly sore arms notwithstanding. Jessica however, really does not agree. Mack falls somewhere in between, and the end result is that Davy Crockett doesn't fair too well here. It's a unique experience in the park, but not the sort of thing you're likely to remember the most.
29. Astro OrbiterAverage Score: 3.33Astro Orbiter sits at the front of Tomorrowland and lets you fly a small rocket ship around in a circle. It's a minor variation of the classic Dumbo Flying Elephants, but it doesn't bring the childhood nostalgia that ride has. I actually think it's slightly more fun, you can fly higher and cruise at a slant that makes things a bit more interesting, but ultimately, you're just going around in a circle for a couple minutes.
T-27. Pinocchio's Daring JourneyAverage Score: 4Pinocchio has the dubious distinction of being the lowest scoring of the numerous Fantasyland dark rides. Several of these attractions just put you in a car and take you through an abbreviated version of the animated movie the ride is based on. I have about the same feeling on all of them, which is that they're fine. Jessica and Mack have a bit more nuanced views on them, and they clearly believe Pinocchio is lacking something. It should be said this one frequently has one of the shorter lines, so they're not alone.
T-27. King Arthur CarouselAverage Score: 4It's a carousel. It's a nice one. It plays Disney music. Also, all the horses are white so nobody needs to fight over what color they get. But ultimately, it's a carousel. I can't really give it a low score because it doesn't do anything badly, but I can't really give it a high score either, because it doesn't do anything special. My compatriots have even less excitement than I do for carousels. If you want to feel like a kid again at Disneyland, though, there may be no better way.
26. It's A Small WorldAverage Score: 4.33I know we're all supposed to hate this ride. The song is supposed to be terrible and annoying, making the ride almost painful. Jessica would tend to agree as she's not a huge fan (though she admits the Christmas reskin the ride gets for the holidays is a significant improvement, but if we include all the reskins this list is going to go on forever). I actually love the song. I think it's actually beautiful with a great message and so I don't mind hearing it over and over again as I view the intricate creations and notice something new buried in the background each time. I am, however, alone in this, so the ride overall gets a lower rating from us.
25. Matterhorn BobsledsAverage Score: 4.66Roller coasters are always popular attractions at theme parks, and the line at the Matterhorn Bobsleds is proof that this one is no exception. However, for us jaded Disney fans who have ridden it so many times, this one just doesn't hold a candle to the other mountains in the park. The ride recently underwent a major renovation that changed the cars, for the poorer in my opinion, and the trip is just a bit too jarring for me, rather than being fast and exciting. Although, Jessica points out that if you can time a ride perfectly to be on it when the fireworks are going off, you get one hell of a view.
24. Mark Twain RiverboatAverage Score: 4.66The Rivers of America has been going through changes of late with the construction of Star Wars Galaxy's Edge taking place, but the massive ships that previously cruised the waters are back. While the Mark Twain Riverboat isn't thrilling, it a beautiful way to see large portions of the park, including areas you won't see any other way. Jessica isn't a fan, but when you want to see Disneyland from a unique point-of-view there are few better ways to do it.
23. Snow White's Scary AdventuresAverage Score: 5Welcome to, according to us, the absolute most average ride at Disneyland. Three perfectly middle of the road scores from three people who don't love it and don't hate it. Snow White's ride, like her movie, will always be a classic, largely due to its place in history, but this probably isn't most fans favorite movie, and thus, it's not going to be their favorite ride, though it certainly does have its moments. We'll jump on if the line is short.
22. Disneyland RailroadAverage Score: 5Is the Disneyland Railroad a ride or a mode of transportation? It's not the most efficient way of getting around the park, as it's not very fast, but it will get you where you need to go and let your feet rest, which is nice. While there is stuff to see beyond the park itself on board the railroad, and this is totally a ride you should take around the park at least once, after you've done it, you likely won't again unless your feet hurt.
21. Dumbo the Flying ElephantAverage Score: 5For me, flying around in a circle is just flying around in a circle. However, Dumbo the Flying Elephant is the definition of a classic ride and those rides that have been around for decades deserve some credit for still being popular after all these years. Jessica clearly has a special love for this one, but her enthusiasm is dampened slightly by Mack and myself. Nostalgia doesn't always get you all the way home.
20. Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki RoomAverage Score: 5.66One of the longest running shows at Disneyland has been Walt Disney's Enchanted Tiki Room. It's run about every 10 minutes or so, every day since 1963. I think it's a great way to take a rest while enjoying an audio-animatronic show, plus, It's got a Dole Whip stand outside and there are worse places in the world to eat Dole Whip than the Tiki Room. Jessica, while also a fan of Dole Whip, finds the show a bit overlong.
19. Jungle CruiseAverage Score: 5.66The Jungle Cruise ends up with an identical score as the Tiki Room, because I like it a little bit more, while Jessica likes it a little bit less. While the ride has been around since Day One of Disneyland, Jessica just doesn't feel much connection to it. I, however, always make a point to go on it on every trip. Yes, the jokes are utterly corny, but that's sort of the point. Also, every once in a while you get a skipper who comes up with a new one, and that is a treat unto itself.
T-16. Roger Rabbit's Car Toon SpinAverage Score: 6One of the few attractions found at Mickey's Toontown is a dark ride that takes you through the basic story of Who Framed Roger Rabbit, which is a great movie worthy of revisiting. This one gives you the additional control of being able to spin your Benny the Cab ride vehicle around in a circle, which makes it a cut above the standard dark ride for Jessica and Mack, but, for me, it's really just another dark ride. Fun on occasion, but far from essential.
T-16. Alice in WonderlandAverage Score: 6Alice in Wonderland is, by its very nature, a little weird, which makes the dark ride based on the film a little bit more interesting than most. While it still tells you the story of the movie, the generally psychedelic aspect of the movie comes through in the ride, making this one feel like a bit more of a trip than a ride. Mack is the one who helps Alice reach this point, as he enjoys it a bit more than the rest of us.
T-16. Buzz Lightyear Astro BlastersAverage Score: 6If you'd like your theme park attractions to have a bit more interactivity, then Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters is the ride. Go head-to-head with a friend and collect points as you fire away at targets throughout the ride with a toy blaster attached to the car. Competition can get fierce in this one, especially if one player starts messing with the steering to screw with the other player's aim. Apparently, I'm the one that likes this ride the best. I can only assume that I'd win.
15. Storybook Land Canal BoatsAverage Score: 6.33The Storybook Land Canal Boats may feel like a children's ride, and the boat size is such that it certainly seems that way, but it's actually a special display of a particular love of one grown man. Walt Disney had a special passion for miniatures and it was his desire to make a miniature classic American town that led to the full-size creation of Main Street U.S.A. and Disneyland itself. This one we all enjoy about equally, and it's always worth checking out.
T-13. Gadget's Go CoasterAverage Score: 6.33If you've got little ones who aren't quite ready to take on the Disney mountains but want a thrill ride experience, then Gadget's Go Coaster is perfect. This rollercoaster doesn't reach the speeds or have nearly the sharp turns as the other coasters, which is not to say it isn't still exciting. It's also really short, which is good for those little kids, but makes it hard for me to rank it very high. Jessica doesn't have that problem as she places it alongside all the other major thrill rides the park has to offer.
T-13. Pirates of the CaribbeanAverage Score: 6.33I'm more than a little surprised that this classic didn't make the top 10, but Pirates of the Caribbean is still a great ride regardless. Not everybody loves the way the ride has come to emulate the movie which was designed to emulate the ride, with the addition of Captain Jack Sparrow. I'm not sure anything can truly take away from the greatness that is Pirates of the Caribbean. Besides, the addition of one the great film themes can't be a bad thing, can it?
12. Sailing Ship ColumbiaAverage Score: 6.5The sailing ship Columbia fares better than its sister the Mark Twain Riverboat, if only because Jessica doesn't actually recall ever riding it. This isn't all that surprising as it can actually be a hard boat to catch. It frequently only runs on weekends during much of the year (and generally us Annual Passholders tend to avoid weekends when we can). While Mack puts the two boats on par with each other, I enjoy the Columbia a bit more if only because it's a rarer treat.
11. The Many Adventures of Winnie the PoohAverage Score: 6.66While you might think that a ride based on The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh to be as old as any other storybook dark ride. It actually only opened at Disneyland in 2003. However, this means that it uses some of the newest animatronic technology available to Disney, It's also got what might be the most utterly bizarre segment to any Disney ride as the Heffalumps and Woozles portion is more of a mind trip than anything Alice in Wonderland can do.
10. FantasmicAverage Score: 7Nighttime shows can be some of the best that Disney puts on, as the darkness allows the park to show off what they can do with fireworks and lights. Fantasmic is, without question a great show that incorporates light, water, fireworks, both riverboats, character,s and some amazing puppetry as well. The one downside is that the Rivers of America was never designed for this sort of show, so getting a good spot from which to view it all can be tough, and if you can't see it, the experience is greatly diminished. If you can get a good spot though, the show is amazing.
9. Great Moments with Mr. LincolnAverage Score: 7.33Our scores take a significant jump into ninth place for Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln. Even the most jaded among us can't help but feel a small swell of patriotism watching Abraham Lincoln stand before you and speak on the great experiment that is the United States of America. While we'll never truly know what an Abraham Lincoln speech sounded like, Disney magic makes it feel like you're really sitting there with him and your day is always a little brighter after you leave.
8. Mr. Toad's Wild RideAverage Score: 7.66There are a couple of dark rides that stand high above the others and Mr. Toad's Wild Ride is one of them. It's hard to say why. It moves a little faster and has some fun twists and turns, but for what is ultimately a simple and brief ride based on an often overlooked Disney movie, it clearly has made an impact on people. It's my favorite of the dark rides, though there is another that Mack and Jessica prefer quite a bit more.
7. Star Tours - The Adventure ContinuesAverage Score: 8The original Star Tours was a great motion simulator ride, but the updated version takes everything to the next level. Randomized segments mean that you never get quite the same ride twice --though I almost always seem to get stuck pod racing for some reason -- and new sections have been added as the new episode of the Star Wars trilogy have been released, making it worth riding again and again. Until Galaxy's Edge opens, there is no better way to feel like you're inside the galaxy, far, far away.
6. Space MountainAverage Score: 8This is, by far, my favorite ride in the park, but apparently, that's only good enough for sixth place around here. It's a great roller coaster and the fact that it all takes place in the dark only adds to the fun for me. Throw in the Michael Giacchino soundtrack and Space Mountain becomes a work of art. Only the significant wait time keeps me from riding this one over and over again. However, there are a few rides, and one rollercoaster, Mack and Jessica like better.
5. Indiana Jones AdventureAverage Score: 8.33Experiencing an Indiana Jones ride is a lot like experiencing a Star Wars ride. It's such a dream come true for fans it's hard to have a bad time. For Jessica, this is the definition of a perfect ride and while Mack and I don't go quite that high on it, it is certainly one of the more fun and exciting experiences to have at Disneyland. It's hard to not feel like Indiana Jones when John Williams' classic march is playing. Plus, you get a special guest appearance from John Rhys-Davies as Salah.
4. Peter Pan's FlightAverage Score: 8.66If you go to Disneyland, one of the rides that is assured to always have a long wait time is Peter Pan's Flight. Based on the scores of my two compatriots, they are part of the reason why. The attraction flips the standard dark ride upside down, literally, by suspending your pirate ship from above rather than being a track below you. This perspective shift, along with great miniature work, make this a very popular ride for many as Never Never Land looks amazing as you float above it.
3. Big Thunder Mountain RailroadAverage Score: 9The best roller coaster, and third best ride in the park, according to us, is the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. It is, after all "The Wildest Ride in the Wilderness." While we may have different favorites when it comes to thrill rides, Big Thunder is a close second for all of us, making it the better ride from an overall perspective than nearly everything else. This is probably the most classic coaster in the park, making it fun for everybody.
2. Splash MountainAverage Score: 9Clearly, Mack and Jessica enjoy getting soaked on Splash Mountain. As a flume ride, the entire thing is a build-up to one massive drop, all with a Song of the South bent to it. As flume rides go, Splash Mountain is one of the best as it's more than just the drop, and it's the perfect antidote to an overly hot day at the park. Unfortunately, that's when the lines are longest, so your FastPass-Fu needs to be strong with this one. While I don't love getting my clothes wet quite as much, Mack and Jessica's love for this one makes it the number two ride overall.
1. Haunted MansionAverage Score: 9.33It's not a thrill ride, but the Haunted Mansion takes a slight edge over Splash Mountain as the best ride in the park. It's got that classic nostalgia factor, some truly special effects, some real chills, at least the first time you ride it, and a theme song that you won't mind getting stuck in your head. Even standing in line can be fun when you do it at night in the dark. What's more, The Nightmare Before Christmas reskin changes things up often enough that neither version ever really gets old.Most Images Courtesy Disneylandnews.com/Disney
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